The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
