Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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