He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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