hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
