you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
