Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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