she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
