i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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