she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
