I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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