i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
