We should be called the Road Head Warriors
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
