Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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