I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
