If i could tip my vagina, i would.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
