you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize