haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
