i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
