At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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