her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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