I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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