My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
