I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Alive.
So much puke
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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