Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
