Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
