Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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