Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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