please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
bring money and cleavage
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
