I think I am morally bankrupt
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
