i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
