How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
