The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
