Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
