tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
