Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Enjoy the penises
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
