I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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