# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
