Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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