Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Can I color on your dick again?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
