Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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