he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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