I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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