On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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