she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
