Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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