maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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