i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
