Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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