Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
