i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
