You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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