If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
