How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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