Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
