i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
