I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
