All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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